Not Meant To Be
by The Genius Mage
Summary: In all the many days she spent visiting Axel during her stay in the Castle, Xion had never once imagined he wouldn’t be pleased to see her. AkuXi, AxelxXion, with some Riku and Xion friendship. Oneshot.


_~.*.*.Not Meant To Be.*.*.~_

Xion gaped. She kept telling herself that this was some sort of joke, a prank. Her mind registered the words but there was _no possible way_ he actually _meant_ them.

She was standing on the balcony of The Castle That Never Was, which was a maze of white spires and towers, dark rooms and even darker residents. But Xion thought she had found the sun that illuminated the unbearable silence and shadows of the Castle.

She had been wrong.

Axel was looking down at her, jade eyes hard and expressionless, arms crossed over his chest. The Flurry of Dancing Flames, he said nothing. Offered no words of comfort to the stunned raven haired girl with her big, blue eyes stretched wide in confusion.

She waited for a smirk, a smile, something from him to say, _"Only a joke, Xion!"_

But it never came.

In all the many days she spent visiting Axel during her stay in the Castle, Xion had never once imagined he wouldn't be pleased to see her.

Moonlight from Kingdom Hearts, a lopsided, half constructed mass of gold in the sky, shone down on them. There was no sound save for Xion's quick, hitched breaths and Axel's own nearly silent breathing. The stars? There were none on The World That Never Was, only the unholy glow of the false moon, swelling with hearts reaped by the Keyblade.

Her tongue finally moved, and when she spoke, Xion was surprised by how calm, though quiet, her voice was. "W-What do you mean?" She looked at him hopefully, her (non)existent heart still desperate for a teasing bout of laughter. If her heart was fake, then what was it that was sending pulses of agony through her body every second or so?

Axel spoke; his own tone even and flat. "I meant what I said, Xion. It would never work between us."

Xion's mind heard it, but her "heart" refused to accept it. The poor, naïve girl full of memories that were not her own was struggling to understand _why_. "Why not?" Her voice was shaking and starting to crack because she _doesn't get it._ It had been fine just the day before, what was with him now?

The man, the older teen, she didn't know how old he was; Axel just smiled slightly, the corners of his mouth pulling up. "Xion…" He scratched the back of his head, eyes closed.

"Tell me _darn it!_" If she knew curse words, she'd be screaming them to the heavens. What was wrong? If there was a power, a deity, a _god_ up there, she silently prayed that they'd help the poor lost "Nobody" as she tried to comprehend what the man was saying.

Axel's eyes snapped open, elegant, catlike orbs of dark green. "Xion," he said gently. "I don't have a heart. I couldn't…" He looked down. "I couldn't _love_ you like I should. I don't remember, Xion, if I was ever in love or not. Memories can only do so much before…"

"I don't care!" She pleaded. "Axel, please…" Xion trailed off as she saw his entire body stiffen.

"Xion. We can't. I don't have a heart…but you, you and Roxas, I think you do." He paused again, eyebrows meeting in the middle. "Listen to me. Even—even if I _wanted_ to, I couldn't. I'm not…"

"What? Not good enough? Don't give me that line…" She was trembling with rage. "Don't tell me, 'it's not you, it's me'. That's—that's a lie! It's me, isn't it? If I was heartless too—"

"No!" Axel snarled, the air heating up intensely until it felt like a furnace. "Not you. It _is_ me. Because if you do what I think you might…it'd be painful to drag you…Saix was right." He said lamely, dipping his head as the red strands obscured his face. "I got attached."

"_Attached?"_ She remembered the kisses, the touches, everything Axel had ever done with her. Smiles. Laughter. She had learned what joy was with him and Roxas. "I…I'm a _person_, and…"

"It's better. For the both of us." Axel flicked his hand, and even though she ran to catch him, the darkness roared up like cold fire and he vanished. She closed her arms around empty space. For a long moment she stood there, several phantom heartbeats passing by, before she slouched down, buried her face in her hands, and let a strange, wracking spasm shake her body.

Her eyes grew wet like the sea, and she remembered Axel telling her what tears were, for Roxas's eyes had been watering when that Namine girl had left the Castle for good.

"_Tears, Xion, is what the body creates when you're just so…"_ He had fumbled for a word. _"Soul sick, that you have to let it out somehow."_

She was not only soul sick, she was confused and sad and angry all at once in such a whirlwind of despairing fury that Xion thought she'd spontaneously combust. She wouldn't have minded, at least then she'd be free.

Suddenly wanting to escape this stifling nightmare of sallow walls and shadowy callous specters, Xion fled down the steps blindly, the tears still hot in her eyes, and she had no idea where she was going…

Except away. Away from here.

~***~

What was this place? The City That Never Was? She didn't know, and honestly she wouldn't have cared. It was dark, the buildings bristling with their harsh neon lights that flickered and flashed and screamed soundless messages to the Nobodies living in their great alabaster castle that soared above the place like a hovering, silent owl.

Xion stumbled through the streets, and she wished a million Heartless would appear so she could rip them to shreds. She climbed to the top of a huge skyscraper, Memory's Skyscraper she thought, and plopped herself there on the ledge, drawing her knees to her chest and sighing. The tears had stopped, at least.

She didn't know how long she sat, there, silent as a sentinel, with only the impassive spires for company. When footsteps reached her ears, she half expected it to be Axel, and she had no idea what'd she do to him then. Kill him? Kiss him? Scream and run?

She was saved from these difficult choices by the simple reason that it wasn't Axel. The person, when he spoke, sounded utterly confused.

"Xion? What are you doing out here?"

That voice was as deep and sad and world weary as ever, and she knew instinctively who it was without lifting her head.

"Riku." She mumbled. "Go away." Normally she'd ask what _he_ was doing on the world of the Nobodies, but she felt numb all over.

She heard his cloak rustle and he sat down beside her, resting on his hands. "What's the matter? You're not the depressed type."

She opened one eye, raising her head, then thought it was pointless and instead dropped it back onto her knees. Riku had a blindfold on, after all, and she never knew if he could see in it or not. She had once thought he had echolocation or magic powers or something, but right now she couldn't care less if he was completely blind or keen eyed as a hawk.

"Axel. He…"

"What?" Riku had a suddenly protective edge to his voice, and Xion couldn't help but think he sounded like a big brother, not that she would know. It had just leaped into her head.

"He told me, basically…" Her voice snapped entirely and tears almost returned to her eyes. "That he's not good enough for me. He got too attached and it'd be better if we didn't…But he can be friends with Roxas?! Makes no…sense…" She sighed, defeated.

"I know that feeling. Had it for a girl I liked. Still like."

Xion had never thought that Riku had many friends, let alone a _girl_ friend. He was so dark and mysterious, like a lone wolf that prowled The World That Never Was fearlessly, fighting with his eyesight blocked, wearing a dark cloak that he had probably taken from defeated Organization members…"What? Who?"

Hesitation, briefly, then, "Her name was Kairi. She was…is, funny and cute and charming…and pretty, with the most wonderful smile and laugh. It was her, indirectly, that got me into a fight with Sora."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I…think she's better off with him. I never stood a chance anyway. She was too good for me; I'm just a dark creature."

"That's not true," said Xion sympathetically, looking at him. "You're my friend Riku, and you're more human than any of _them_." She pointed to the imposing white palace that was like a blot against the dark sky above them.

Riku didn't answer that. "If Axel…really cares for you and he made a mistake, be patient. He'll be back."

"Are you going to return to Kairi?"

"She's safe…" Riku said more to himself than her. "Safe where she is. Better off there. But yes," he addressed her now. "I will go back to her. Soon. Me and Sora."

"Good luck…and thanks." Xion smiled slightly.

"Anytime. Sorry I don't have more advice…this isn't my strong point." Riku stood up, Xion did too, and after she gave him an affectionate hug, she let him leave in his dark portal that didn't seem quite as cold as the others.

The urge to follow him through that invitingly wide black oval made her skin tingle, but she let it close with a soft, tired whoosh. She then sat down again and closed her eyes, and she stayed still and silent like a gargoyle on the roof for the rest of the day.

~***~

Axel struggled not to show any expression as Xion stalked past the Gray Area without a second glance. He saw her reflection in the huge window though, which was across from him, and he let a small relieved sigh escape.

He had been worried about her, wondering where she had went in order to vanish for a day. It still made him incredibly uneasy, and he felt almost like something inside of him had collapsed before it was even done being made. Like a rickety house tossed to the ground by the wind.

"Breaking up" with her had been the hardest thing he had ever had to do. He remained certain that it was for the best, but she was in pain, and so was he, but it was her own emotional agony that made him want to claw out his soul and shred it to pieces.

Xion had no memories, and yet she had emotions. She had them as well as any other, more than some, and it must be so hard to feel those while trying to process why he had…

_Apologize_, begged a voice in his head. Axel ignored it. That was his human self, Lea, talking. But he had to keep telling himself, it was for the best.

Was guilt an emotion? The memories of her shattered heart were certainly doing something to him. It occurred to him what he could do, and he waited until the Gray Area had emptied, and when the Castle was as noiseless as a great white tomb, he opened a portal and gingerly stepped through.

Xion was asleep on her bed, eyes closed, not stirring as the gateway was left open, making soft hissing sounds like a dozen snakes. Axel inched forward slowly, putting each foot down like a cat, and bent down by her bed. He brushed the raven hair from her eyes and kissed her softly on the cheek, his chest constricting strangely.

"I love you, Xion, I really do. I'm sorry."

He left then before "Lea" tricked him into doing something else, and he missed Xion as she opened her eyes, glinting brightly in the faux light of Kingdom Hearts, and smiled.

_You were right Riku._

Maybe there was hope after all.

~***~

_**Someone suggested that I try angst. I don't like angst much so this little oneshot represents both angst and a glimmer of hope. Joy! **_

_**Want to review? **_


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